I'm a selfish girl
I've been feeling so selfish lately. I'm feeling selfish because I freaking don't want to stay in Germany any longer... and instead of us PCS'ing in a few months, my husband is deploying.
It's been inevitable for quite some time. One of his commanders referred to him as the "bridesmaid" of deployments for units in our area. Apparently, he's been the "backup" for at least 3 deployments, that we know of.
So with that being said... although I'm obviously sad that he'll be leaving me (for 15 months), I am so proud of him that I feel like I'm going to bust.
I just wanted not to live here anymore. And not only will I still be living here, I will be doing so alone. And I'm having a lot of trouble keeping up a "brave face" instead of crawling in a corner and convulsing.
I'm not writing this to get sympathy, or anything like that. I've not blogged in quite some time because I've been quietly dealing with everything in private. After sending out the email to friends and family, and trying our best to prepare for this separation, we've got a very short time together before the deployment. Blogging will continue to be spotty - so please don't be concerned if you don't hear from me for a while.
posted by The Girl @ 1:05 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Thinking of you...enjoy your time together, and when you are ready you can come back to the blog world and we will go through the deployment with you.
I was just going to say the same thing. Blogs can be a lifesaver during deployment, especially for people like you and me who did it without kids or pets. We'll always be here when you need us.
You and the hubby are in my thoughts. And I don't think you're selfish at all. It's hard when you have a timeline you're looking forward to, only to have everything change so drastically on you. And I'm with Calivalleygirl and Sarah...take advantage of the time you have, and we'll be here for you when you're ready.
Me too...your blog was one of the ones that kept me sane during Sean's deployment. Hugs to you both!
It's ok, Susan. I can understand having to live in a foreign country while the only person that keeps you sane is gone. Just remember to breathe - that's all you can do. And then, of course, there's coming to Texas for an extended stay at my house...We can be lonely Army wives together (and you'll be in the states!)...
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