Happy Easter!

I'm glad I didn't get asked what I was "giving up for Lent" as often in Germany as I did Kentucky. Maybe it's just a product of being a member of such a large church, or being in the community as long as I was, or of people just knowing that I was Catholic, and during Lent you're "supposed to give up something."

I've got a pretty interesting list of those things that I've "given up" over the years. Some stuck, some didn't. For instance, one year I gave up the "f" word. (Or as Brian Bell called it, the "firetruck" word.) I was hanging out waaaay too much with a bunch of rowdy boys, and I realized that when it slipped out in front of my mother during a casual conversation that it was time to stop that. Incredibly, it was one of the harder things I've done. (I believe this was 1999 if anyone is curious.) It is an absolute rarity if that word ever comes out of my mouth anymore, or any curse word for that matter.

Growing up, I "gave up" sweets or some other thing that I enjoyed. One year, I gave up meat - that was a good one for me, because it took a lot of work. I believe that if it's easy, than it totally destroys the point of doing it. It's supposed to be hard.

As I've gotten older, the "giving up" has yielded its way to "doing something" instead. Back home, it was more convenient to do church-related things, such as attend an extra Mass during the week, or saying the rosary with my mom. It's even meant supporting a charity or attending a Lenten workshop.

This year, I decided to do a whole bunch of "somethings," and I tried every week to work on an aspect of me, and carry it on through each week. I started with being thankful and appreciative - saying it instead of just feeling it, and trying to make sure that I appreciated life, in general, a little more. Incredibly, upping my days in the gym fell into this week, to make sure that I also appreciated myself. As the weeks went on, my tasks got a little harder, and I finally worked my way up to forgiveness. I think I saved that one until the last week because I knew it was the most difficult for me.

I have 2 friends that really caused me a great deal of pain, and I walked away. They were both amazing people, but their actions and choices they made were not ones that I could forgive. I got really good at what I like calling "closing the box." In my head, I close the box, tie a big giant string around it, and walk away. Rather than scream, or fight or argue, to me it's just "done." I decided to untie 2 of those boxes, and to forgive these two friends.

One, I have known for 11 years. He was my dearest friend for the longest time. Over the past 4 years I've gotten an occasional email, he attended the wedding, and made sure to see me before we left for Germany. Even with our history, I was still so devastated about what he had done that I couldn't let it go. I finally did last Saturday. I've enjoyed a nice week of emails and "catching up." I didn't realize how much anger I was harboring toward him until I let it go. It is amazing what a burden that I no longer feel, because it has finally been lifted.

The other didn't go so well, and maybe I should have just left that box tied - but I tried. I think that sometimes that's just as important.

I know that this year, Easter came at a perfect time for me. Sometimes I don't feel "ready" for it, that I've not prepared my room enough... but I feel good about this year. And thank goodness that I've got an entire year ahead of me to prepare for next year :)

Happy Easter to you all.